So why haven't the two of you moved back together?
The short answer is because neither of us is ready yet. I would probably be more willing to try it and see what happens, but I know that H is still really apprehensive about conflict and I'm not in a position to keep conflict from happening when I feel like my needs aren't being met. It seems like a recipe for disaster without making some more progress first.
Originally Posted By: MrBond
I don't see in your posts where you detailed your marital issues. Could you explain what they were?
I had some details in my very first post, but I can expand more here.
1. H says there was too much conflict between us. The conflict hurts him, but I'm impervious to it so I really didn't realize that it was a problem until it was too late.
2. H feels like I never had his back because he would ask me to do things for him (mostly legal work) and I would say no.
3. H feels like he has no power in our relationship.
4. I have felt emotionally and physically abandoned by H since we moved 300 miles for him to take a new job.
5. I wanted to have more children, and he was procrastinating without telling me why. (In retrospect, duh.) This was the primary source of the "conflict" that H says he left to get away from.
6. H has a difficult time with forgiveness and also with accepting responsibility (they seem to go hand in hand, don't they?). He is holding onto a lot of old baggage. For example, ten years ago I went on a business trip for a week and didn't call him until the 5th day. He has brought that up 3 times in the past year (and was validated by me every time), and yet when I try to bring up something he said or did a month ago for which there was no closure, he tells me it isn't fair. (I don't like double standards -- can you tell?)
