I feel you on the 10 years part. And the not trying part. I spent the better part of a few months just repeating....."but what about the last 10 years?"
I read (in the most depressing book ever, imo) The Depression Fallout, and they mention something about partners with mental illness/depression -- how they just suddenly cut and run and the person left behind feels like they've been discarded like a piece of trash. It made me feel slightly better, because I felt, and still do to some extent, like trash that was just thrown out. I'm not saying that your BF is mentally ill or depressed, but do know that you're not alone in your thoughts and what's going on.
Do know, that you are not alone. We're all here for you.
M:32,H 32 T:10, M5 BD/H Move Out: 9/2014 - extreme anger H Mental Illness Diagnosis: 4/15 Served D Papers: 10/15 Divorced: 11/15