Feeling incredibly lonely and low today. I have made so many positive changes and improvements over these last 4 months and while H has noticed them and says he gives me the "highest compliments" to everyone he talks to, I know it is still not enough. While I am happy to do these things on my own and for S8 and I, the rejection is still unbearable.
When I told him S8 and I may have found a place last night he had a shocked look on his face. He was not expecting that. Possible 180?
He was also shocked I got belay certified at the rock climbing gym. This made me feel good.
Still, every night he leaves. He goes off and lives his live and keeps the D momentum strong. I try so hard to detach, GAL and have PMA, but it's exhausting.
I struggle with the fact that it seems like H made this decision in haste and now has something to "prove" by following through. Just a month before this happened he was sending me texts telling me how happy and in love he was with me and our life. Then boom-- everything changes.
So much back and forth. I don't know how much longer I can take. The pain is unbearable and I just want it to go away.
Me 26 ; H 26 S 8 Married less than a year Bomb 9/15/14 H moves out 9/15/14 H Files 11/21/14 Served D papers 12/31/14
