Card29 IX - New Year, New Card

[Card29]

Thank you for sharing all of that, uR, and thanks for sharing your time with me. There is so much for me to think about, but I'm realizing that I need to think a little easier, a little slower. I'm an engineer, so at the beginning of this disaster, I made this another engineering project. I defined objectives, problems, hurdles, then I formulated a plan to FIX it all. Since then, I've learned so much about marriage, love, affairs, joy, hate, anger, priorities, my personality, etc. But I think what I may have learned more than anything is how pain and trauma is processed. It is not an engineering project for me to conquer. It is something that just needs to happen.

Also, I've finished two days of the Headspace app. It has been great. I've never meditated before, though, so it's not coming that easy to me just yet. I'm listening to the Andy, though...just letting it happen

Random thought: Anyone remember the ending to Castaway? (Spoiler alert...) He finally gets back home, and finds that his W is remarried with kids. So he moves on independently. Last scene of the movie is basically like that line from The Eagles' Take it Easy... "It's a girl, my lord, in a flat bed Ford, slowing down to take a look at me." It was supposed to be this happy ending, the he is starting a new life that he is lucky to have. I always hated that ending!! I thought it was so sad that he went through all of that and lost his W. That's how much I hated the idea of D, losing a spouse. But now, after all of this, I think it's a great ending