Requesting support and direction

[Andy125]

Thanks sandi2 for your response. I think that I’m finally learning the difference. I think that last night was more of a win in terms of learning this detached approach. I came home after work frustrated that she had slept all afternoon, causing her mom to have to stay. When I came home I maintained a pleasant but non-engaging attitude. I simply had things to do like change, snow blow the driveway etc. The asked if she should go out to pick up dinner, I told her sure told her what I would like. She mentioned that she wasn’t feeling well and had called in sick. I asked a little about what was wrong, i.e. vomiting etc. then carried on with what I needed to do.

When she returned I sat and ate with her and D8. D5 was allowed to eat while watching a movie. She actually didn’t jump on her phone while I sat there. After dinner I spent time with D5 playing and watching the movie with her. The W actually came and sat in the room and watched movie with us. When she asked questions or made comments I responded kindly but wasn’t overly talkative or engaging. The W actually put D5 to bed, but D5 insisted that I come in and do our nighttime routine. After that W retreated down to her room.

I guess I’m trying to figure out if I’m on the right track here guys? Anything I should be doing differently? It certainly feels counter intuitive to not constantly engage her in conversation. But I also know that by not I’m actually doing a 180 there. I’m still at a loss on how to deal with OM. I learning to not focus on him… that is definitely a work in progress.