newcomer now receives mail in Hell

[bravo61]

Thanks Jim and HP. I was starting to wonder if I was back on moderation.

Yeah, I'm definitely not pursuing as this was her idea. In the spirit of trying to be more positive im going to treat this as a baby step. Just gonna enjoy it for what it is. Time spent w/a beautiful woman drinking wine and watching a show with a fire in the fireplace. Wait a minute, I just described a date.WTF? She's confusing. LOL.

Any and all comments/advice is definitely welcome.

[jim0987]

just relax is the best advice i can give. try and take all the tension out of it for you. tension breeds tension (God am i feeling that today) fun breeds fun

but NO EXPECTATIONS and NO PURSUING - i know you know this but it really needs a massive neon sign anyway

[Sotto]

And not too much wine Bravo....make sure you can keep up the DB approach....harder when you're a bit liquored up!

And remember - no expectations - expect nothing to happen other than watching a show and drinking wine with your 'neighbour.'

[labug]

Question for the vets.

Should I spend the time with the XW on Sun nite? I have zero expectations but I don't see us as friends. The time will be spent with me alone. She's not coming over till after the kids are asleep so it's not "family" time. She has not exhibited any warming up behaviors this week and I've maintained my distant but pleasant attitude.

Could use some other perspectives.

I would have asked for more info but how did it go?

[bravo61]

Bug, its sun morning here so its not till tonite.

I don't plan on drinking but maybe a glass. Trust me there will be no pursuing on my part nor any expectations. I haven't initiated a call or text in prolly three months.

[labug]

I wasn't looking at whne they were written, thanks for pointing that out.

So why did she come up with this plan? What's the purpose fo the visit?

[bravo61]

Not really sure. She got me a couple of seasons of the show. When we talked the other nite she mentioned that the season premiere was tonite. She said if I wanted to dvr it she would enjoy watching it w/me. I have the kids but she said she would wait to come over after they were asleep. I know when we first started dating, we bonded over Dawsons Creek. Don't laugh.

[labug]

I'm not laughing.

Be careful with the wine.

[bravo61]

Ok. I need someone to talk me off the ledge. I'm furious. My S just told me that his grandmother doesn't like me. I asked him why he'd say that. He said he saw a text from her (XW mother) that said congrats on the divorce. Yeah, hurting the kids deserves a "congrats". That's BS but indicative of the way I've been portrayed. I've taken ownership at every turn but Damon it I'm tired as being portrayed as the only person that made mistakes. I haven't been this mad in a while. First thought was to send a text to x mil to ask if it were true and then respond w/disappointing if it was. But I didn't. I'm here instead. That is so frustrating.

[bravo61]

Very laid back. Plenty of joking around. She sat on couch I sat in my chair. I took her jacket from her when she got here & hung it up. Hhelped her into it when she left. She brought wine. At different points of the show I would make a clever comment she would look over at me and laugh or smile. Walked her out and she initiated hug and said it was fun. Didn't ask her if we will do it again. She will have to initiate that. She didn't get on her phone 1 time. Absolutely no pressure from me. Caught her a couple of times glancing at me. Kissed her forehead when she left.She made a comment bout some art she saw last week and I referenced it into the show. Example of my new found listening skills. Didn't bring up the text from her mom. She also gave me her work schedule for Jan and she is super stressed about it. Oh well.