Really too late....

[lost18]

I don't have the experience or knowledge that the vets have. But I am here for you. I think you are doing great.

Thanks, I really do appreciate it.

But remember he is there, and that means that there is opportunity.

Having him here is extremely difficult, but you are right I have more of an opportunity than many others here.

My IC keeps telling me to quit living in fear, but that is exactly what I'm doing. I'm afraid to give up, afraid to have hope. I read thru this thread the other day, I do see where he has backed off, or so it seems. We were doing more one on one time before Thanksgiving. Going to do some mind-reading I do feel there are a few possibilities as to why. 1) maybe things had cooled off with OW at the time and now have picked back up 2)maybe he felt like he was giving me false hope 3)it could be that he is in more pain than before with his back or 4)with the holidays we had less opportunities.

I'm am really torn emotionally, he has not shown me in anyway that he is interested in reconnecting, still seems to be having some sort of R with an OW but yet has not moved forward with D at all, hasn't mentioned telling the kids, made any plans to move out or filed. I am just afraid the longer this goes on if he moves forward the harder it will be on me emotionally.

I know I said that I was going to try to trust that he is not openly contacting OW, not so easy. I say the serenity prayer a lot! Maybe I'll try to recite that when I think he may be texting her.

On a positive note, I have finally started the past few days focusing on being more healthy, drinking more water, eating better and although I haven't run in a couple of weeks I started walking my dog in the morning. Focus on the positives.