Mozza (7) + Links to success stories

[Mozza]

I decided to return her winter gear and I found my answer to the second question in a fantastic post by sandi2 on HPoirot's thread.

I believe when a couple separates, there needs to be a period of time where they should avoid contact with each other. It is so easy to trigger something during a quick exchange, texting, etc. They need that space from each other to regroup and calm down where they feel a bit more balanced in their emotional equaliberim.

On top of that, my W is in a new R. I don't know if we have balance. On the surface, we do: we're very cordial and just about everything comes easy between us about the kids. Almost too easy, because it plays into her scenario that this separation is no big deal, apart perhaps from my pain. On my end, I'm not detached at all and have been crying every day for 4 months straight now. Our interactions make me very uncomfortable. Coming from her, I see that she tries to stay in touch with chit chat that borders on weird (video of her office party??). I suspect there's nothing there and she's really moved on, but that's mind reading.

This is why I do not agree with the idea of getting all buddy-buddy. How could it be genuine? IMO, she needs to know he is not happy about what she has done to the family, and frankly, he is not interested in being her friend. He is done! That is the only message that will cause her to rethink her actions.

So I'll avoid feeding her communications then, keep it to a minimum about the kids. Perhaps in a few weeks or months, I'll reassess. Maybe I should have a deadline, like HPoirot's six months.