Ss06, I’ve just read a few pages of your recent updates. I know how it feels when you think you are making some progress and moving forward, and then you slip backwards, and feel sorry for yourself, and feel all that pain over and over again.
The holidays are always tough, especially the first year after the BD. I remember having the same thoughts on my first-post-DB New Year’s Eve, that I had nobody to kiss. This year was my third holiday season, and I still felt sad. But, I didn’t let myself feel like a victim. I have great family. I was surrounded by love and I actually felt sorry for H for not enjoying our great company. I didn’t even think about that I had nobody to kiss.
I agree with others on two points. If you feel that you need some distance from H and not see him for a while, do it. There are always the ways to limit the contact even when you have kids. Another thing is try to only be social with people who support and don’t judge you. Stay away from pretentions and judgmental friends. I hope your friend will not show up at you work place while you are there.
Hang in there.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
