Life 2.0 Pt 3

[NH115]

She doesn't explicitly tell me it's my fault for the A, but it was my fault for making her vulnerable to the A, as if she could have done absolutely nothing to keep it from progressing as far as it did.

You are still pulling out the old score board. Accept your part of the breakdown in the M! You did not fill her EN, and as her H you are suppose to at least try. When women say they aren't happy in their M. It usually means her EN are being ignored. Remember becoming complacent?

It was so long for me that I felt dead inside. I might as well have been walking across the Saharia and met a man who was handing me a tall glass of sweet ice tea. I didn't just jump into an A with him. We started talking and he made me feel special, and good about myself. But since I was already vulnerable to what he was providing (instead of my H), I did not want to stop it. I was already hooked.

Have you actually told her anything you accepted as being your fault? Apparently, you have trouble with admitting it to yourself.

Without a doubt. I have fully owned my role in not setting good boundaries with my parents, with my depressiveness during a significant portion of our relationship, and some other things. I know good and well that I helped set the stage for what happened in the sense that I got complacent, and I wasn't meeting her EN.

I don't talk about her A from a position if self-righteousness; different timing and circumstances it could have been me explaining my A to her. I'm far from immune to this.

Your narrative of how you fell into your A is very very similar to hers.

My problem is that she wants me to take some responsibility for her A, which is not going to happen. I'll take a lot of the responsibility for setting the stage, but not for what she decided to do. She also claims she wasn't really in an A since they didn't have sex. I wonder if she would look at things that way if I got myself a GF but didn't have sex with her? (Rhetorical question, I'm not going to do that)