C - This is part of the workers comp thing, so wouldn't you think docs are asking about all of these things? I don't think it's like him not to be honest about that...
Can I ask you something? Was there always a little bit of the dynamic between you and your husband that led to your separation?
There was never so much at stake between me and H, but if I am honest, I think there was always this dynamic where I was the cheerleader for our relationship more than he was. Where he would nay say everything, and that might've been part of the depression he's always struggled with... Where he would manipulate every conversation so that I was holding all the blame ... I just think that this is one big grand finale for what we have always struggled with. Of course I love him. But love isn't enough. It takes two ppl to fall in love and one to always be throwing their hands up saying they don't believe in working to stay in love and everything is hopeless.
One of my GAL activities today - an old friend pointed out we had this conversation years ago. She asked me how many years I wanted to keep having the heartache in my life and future conversations. I won't give up on my M but it's a damn good question and reason to 'drop the rope.'
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
