Inbetween Land

[Faith2b]

Well got some things together at the new place not too much more for me to move very excited and I cant wait to officially be moved into my place. I have lots to do still but my marital home will be a distant place soon cant wait.
My ex still has the kids we do have a schedule but he chose to keep them until tomorrow he didnt talk to me about this but hey Im just glad that I had a chance to get things done. I just see him so distantly in my life its kinda great. I still have lots of healing. Today was very anxiety ridden but I actually accomplished more usually I would let my emotions cloud my progress but Im starting to see progress with myself. Im almost feeling like after this move its gonna be hard for me to even picture a future with him. He has changed so much for the worse. I have compassion for him but his choices have really made me feel like why should I wait for him. I dont deserve any of this and he needs a 180. Although Im more concerned with my ability to forgive I want to be free to start over regardless if I get back with him at this point. I love him but much of my feelings are gone. I know loves is commitment. Not sure I would even give him a chance. I want a partner. I want someone in for the long hall. Just not sure if their is coming back at this point. Anyone have any thought on where I may be headed? Am I in some kind of stage?? Im just tired.