He's able to cook, clean, wood-work, walk a dog, claims PTSD has him not driving this year and he can't concentrate or be in one position for too long - I know this is true. He is clinically depressed, got that eval last month. Some of this must have come from the intense loneliness he felt around a wife he felt like hated him. He would say some of the most awful things to me all year long and it was so hard not to be defensive and angry and engage with empathy during these 'conversations.' I was very forceful with my opinions and got frustrated with what I thought was some poor logic and so much self pity. I have a lot of changes I need to make in how I approach him, when, and kindness being non judgmental in general. Right now that's all I can own. Even when he gave up on me, before we decided to separate, I was still asking him if we could talk, hug, something...he would just say he wasn't interested and shut the door.
Drop the rope. I will. I am trying so hard and every once in a while I get this pang so many of you know - this isn't real, can't be happening, what about this happy memory...
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
