Thanks. Mozza I do take your point and its well made. Vanilla letting go is always a big challenge with me until i can analyse, rationalise and park logically. until then i keep spinning - which is a problem with big emotional stuff.
More stuff tonight but reflecting on Mozza's point I will try to keep this brief.
we had a conversation on logistics and finances and the like this evening which included childcare. She refused to budge and started saying how unreasonable i was being, she kept making me feel bad so i called her an emotionally manipulative bully - it kind of escalated a bit until i walked away.
the whole conversation was very tense included sneers (lots from her) on both sides and was generally pretty unpleasant. the fact we dont trust each other came up loads though she made a big point about how fair and reasonable she is being. She was offended that i might not trust her.
I made way too many counterpoints to say how reasonable i was being.
typical stuff from all over our relationship history came out, including her overall view that I was just attritional in discussions until she couldnt take it any more. her stance is that all of this is that she is just standing up for herself for the first time.
at one point she said something like 'if you try and delay the move over this....' to which i reacted with a 'why would i delay, I want you F****** gone so i can move on with my life'
it calmed down went round in circles and i kind of proved her point about me not letting things go until i get my way.
she did say that she has noticed me trying to improve myself but what she sees she doesnt recognise as me and that she doesnt want to see it. (she started to cry at this point). she said some stuff i didnt really understand.
Its better for everyone that she moves and so we can all move on.
Things just arent getting any better and i'm not doing myself any favours on a lot of this. Sorry guys
Once she has moved, it will get better i'm sure it will just take time.
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
