This is going to be a long road. You are the Tango king without a Tango queen. So be it, you will have to accept this. Ultimately it is what you do and the way you do it.
Keep sending the pics, it's a great thing and younger kids love having their pics taken so it's fun.
Kids hand over, this is going to be up to you to manage, I would suggest distraction and anticipation.
When fostering, handover time was very tough and often the way to manage with younger children was use of anticipation, deciding on a meal, helping to cook, a new game or TV show. Even decorating a room, sewing, and a particular favourite murder in the dark (hide and seek). Some of the other parents will have more modern ideas for you.
Anticipation is telling the kids what they are going to do when they arrive, "been waiting for you to arrive because we are making pizzas for supper or I want to watch Frozen" next time you come we are going to karaoke. When you come back from mums next time then we are going to the park. Followed by a text or call "looking forward to the park tomorrow or we will have a picnic". Your kids are at an age when they love this. Putting away decorations, going to the tip with the old Xmas tree was fun for granddaughters, spent time talking about recycling, almost anything can be fun at that age. Especially cuddles, tickles and hugs. Bed bouncing, pillows, hidden chocolates and clues to surprises. Even bath bubbles and toasty dressing gowns with melted marshmallows each, discussions on why marshmallows toast.
The key is contact whilst the kids are away from you, there is a solution somewhere to this. Children come first MCS over your feelings. I suggest you find a way to communicate with the kids whilst 'bypassing' W. An early evening text to W " I would like to ring for a 10 mins to talk to kids, to say goodnight to them. This will be 6:45 on the landline." Simple, no talk to W, but connection with kids, almost every day. Then anticipation kids D loves you sleep well, school today?, next time you come I am planning a picnic. Preferably call before bed. FaceTime would be better. Leave it to W if in due course she follows your example when the kids are with you, she will. Limit the talks to once a day unless it's a birthday or other event day. Fix a time, build a habit around it, a routine.
MCS, you can do this, settle for the longest time frame and be glad if issues resolve sooner. Kindness, gentleness and putting your precious children first, last and in the middle. There are wonderful dads on this board and dads becoming so, as well as single moms growing and developing as people and finding their lives enriched as a result.
Time is your friend Vanilla
Last edited by Vanilla; 01/04/1506:45 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
