New to forum looking for advise not sure where to post
Me and MY wife have been tougher since 1982 and married since 1985 and she is involved in affair with a x boyfriend now since 11/29/2013 I was hoping this was all a dream and she would stop it but she hasn't and now it getting worst people told me it wouldn't last this long. I think I'm part of the reason it has last because I keep trying to reason with her and it usually ends with us fighting about it because she knows how to set me off and when thing start looking good she does some thing to make me lose it and a fight brake out and now she been leaving here on Friday and not going home until Sunday this week she left new years even and I have not seen her since but aspect her today Sunday because she has to go back to work tomorrow. We still live tougher and share a bed but no sex no going out thoughter. I means she will roll over and place a leg on me or a hand on my chest even hold my hand while sleeping some times for a long time or until I move just right and then bang just like that she pulls back or she diftes back away other time then there times when I can come to bed or she comes in and I can rub her back for awhile and the stop me or there times when I can put my arm around her or touch her and says nothing then other time she said stop get on your own side. I can ask for a hug in the morning when she getting ready to leave and she will come over and let me hug her but she just stands there she use to at least touch me when this first started now she just stands there with her arms at her side. I need tips to stop this and get her back I so badly want to go over there and pound this guys head in. Because I over heard a conversation with her and someone else that he told her not to divorce me me because it was too expensive and then him and his sisters asked her about something and she to;d them she never had it and and they all told her wow you live a sheltered life. I also found a letter sent to her buy someone warning her about him and some other girl but she told her not to worry about because she asked him about it and he said there was nothing going on there and she would appreciate that if there was anything else that she would tell her because she lost him once and she wasn't going to lose him again and she cant control who his friends with.
Can you help or give me and tips dont know how much longer i can do this
Have you read Divorce Remedy yet? It's a great place to start. Getting a life Gal means having your own goals and activities to keep you and your mind busy. You have no control over your wife. And her behaviours only your own. Detaching doesn't mean not caring. It means not obsessing and loving from a safe distance. I'm sure the vets will add to that.
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
Should I show her affection so that she can see that I'm not turning my back on her or the marriage even thou she is. I know she at the point now where she is going to his place on a friday and not coming home until Sunday. believe she planing it again this week end since I see a bag with clothes in it next to her dresser. I know I can force her not to because it would just back fire on me but I'm thinking about placing a lover letter or something like that in the bag n=between her cloths for her to find and maybe even with him right there to see her find it. that way he will know that I'm not for this and that I'm trying to keep the marriage going that that it will matter to him but it might Option please
Brought over from your other thread.
My advice is NO, she is involved with another man - LET GO.
Ok but if I let go and stop showing that I care that lets her remove me from her picture making it easier for her to forget about me totally and moving on and into this new relationship easier. I dont want that as sick as it might sound I want to fix all this. Plus we still live tougher and even share a bed matter a fact she held my hand last night in bed for close to 3 hours evening letting me hold her by placing my other arm across her stomach.
No I have not read Divorce Remedy yet. I don't now how I can since we still live in the same house unless I hide it in the bedroom and hide out in there so I can read it with out her knowing
I am sorry for the situation you are in. The first chapters of all of Michele's books are available on the website at no charge. Here is the link to the first chapter of The Divorce Remedy.
The best advice I can give you is to speak with a Divorce Busting Coach today. Divorce Busting coaches will give you the best guidance on how to save your marriage and get things moving in a more positive direction. Please call me to discuss our coaching program 303-444-7004.
Cristy Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
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