I wrote the above before I read uR's post but maybe you need to hear it twice.

Here's a blow your mind thing about finding out about the affair. It was going on for a long time and you didn't know about it. And then you found out.

What changed with that knowledge?

Who changed with that knowledge?

People having affairs lie to stay safe, much like addicts lie to get their next high. It goes with the territory.

Take a few days, do a lot of GAL.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss