Inbetween Land

[Faith2b]

I told him no and set the boundary that no Se. While he was 8n a relationship. But my friend said I should give him what he wants. Hey I thought I should be open because everything hurts anyways. I'm thinking this will connect us and I can get some leway I mean he is really mad at me and sex can be the medicine to relieve some of his anger and that can open up the door for communication. Thus we can begin tallking. Thought thoughts thought?????? Look overall I'm leaning toelwards noone thinKS this is a good idea???

[Faith2b]

I'm just trying to be open 180???

[Faith2b]

I told him no and set the boundary that no Se. While he was 8n a relationship. But my friend said I should give him what he wants. Hey I thought I should be open because everything hurts anyways. I'm thinking this will connect us and I can get some leway I mean he is really mad at me and sex can be the medicine to relieve some of his anger and that can open up the door for communication. Thus we can begin tallking. Thought thoughts thought?????? Look overall I'm leaning toelwards noone thinKS this is a good idea???

[Faith2b]

Ok the reason why it is a topic is because a friend suggested it. So I'm being open to it. She thinks that if I want him back I should defiantly bend on this.and show him in.

[Faith2b]

Please no sugar coating!!!! I need brutal answers on this sex thing!!!!!

[Sotto]

Here's my brutal answer. I must have missed the bit in DR/DB where it says - try to talk to him, and if that fails seduce him and then try to talk to him!

I doubt that approach is going to go well for you, and you're kinda missing the point here Faith. Your energies would be better focused on you, your growth, your relationship with you, your relationship with your kiddos, getting a life and detaching. He's pretty much out of your control right now.

Your aim is to get to the point where you can happily head home from your GAL activity - and H may pop into your head and you think....wow, I haven't thought of H for hours...or even better days!

If you've reached the point where you feel that happy in yourself, H may become curious about you and wonder what he's missing out on. But attracting him back isn't the main aim here - saving yourself (and looking after your kids) is.

I hope this helps...and isn't too brutal! - I mean well :-)

[Faith2b]

No Toots I can take even more brutal!! Any other takers??? Look Im really just trying to figure things out. When h called and said he still wanted to do all these affectionate things with me. I felt a pulling from my own longing for this. I said no and set a boundary. At the same time I have to be more honest with myself. Because up into this incodent I have been telling him I dont care about the ow and him. Everytime we talk he trys to bring them up as a topic and I have to tell him I dont care as long as he is happy. Anyways I am now realizing I have moe healing more honesty that I need to tell myself about how I feel. Im not sure when he does talk to me how much I should reveal. He was being honest with me when he told me his feelings. I then had to confront my own feeling which are I care and I want to have a connectiong through sex cuddling time talking. With that said thats why this whole sex topic has arose. I talked to my friend and she said try sleeping with him. I said well everything else is to hell. Ugh I appreciate honest. But understand Im being vrutally honest I am confronting thngs as we go here. This is emotional and very hard. I want the best for me at this point. Just considering all my options as they come. It says in DR to throw out your old thinking so thats were Iwas coming from. I need to get this all out so when the time comes and we are together Ican make the best choice for me. Which I am more and more feeling like my initial no with boundaries works for me. Plus I really dont want my children to think this is right as well. Ok my senses are coming back to me. Still may need some brutality lol. GAL ON!!!

[Sotto]

Good for you Faith! I also meant to say treat any advice from well-meaning friends (who love you) with caution. Advice from my lovely friends has included:

"Get a solicitor who's a bulldog" (a week after BD)
"Tell him how you feel" (not good in DB terms)

And try not to worry too much about getting H back for now. He probably can't offer you much of anything good right now and Faith deserves better!

For a while I hummed that little song to myself..."let him go, let him tarry, let him sink or let him swim. He does not care for me and I don't care for him."

But show your not caring for him in a 'lovingly distant' way. He was your H. Now he is a neighbour that you like, but you don't know all that well...

[Faith2b]

Geesh I went for the emotions bad in this roller coaster ride. I realize how he is trying to throw me off. Im going to say less. I think even though I am now coming to more terms that I do care that he is with someone this may help me to move forward. I was thinking I have alot of explaining to h becuae of where I let him take me this last blow up. I did go over board. I need to stay the course. I admitingly feel for him in the sexual department and I wanna get back to work on this portion. But I agree that would be yuk to do this now. I guess I need to explore all ranges of crazy due to the fact he brung this topic up. Im just not that into sharing Im way to loyal and way to deserving of the whole package. I was mad at him but once again the finger is pointed back at me. Becuae I no my worth he may be clouded but my judgemnt should steer clear of any further non GAL thinking smh. THIS IS SOOOO HARD!!!!!!!

[Faith2b]

ok So cnsidering my boundary that we cant move forward until the ow is out the picture. Not sure how to define progress with this goal???? Please help. What progress look like???