Good for you Faith! I also meant to say treat any advice from well-meaning friends (who love you) with caution. Advice from my lovely friends has included:

"Get a solicitor who's a bulldog" (a week after BD)
"Tell him how you feel" (not good in DB terms)

And try not to worry too much about getting H back for now. He probably can't offer you much of anything good right now and Faith deserves better!

For a while I hummed that little song to myself..."let him go, let him tarry, let him sink or let him swim. He does not care for me and I don't care for him."

But show your not caring for him in a 'lovingly distant' way. He was your H. Now he is a neighbour that you like, but you don't know all that well...

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus