Inbetween Land

[Karma12]

Hi Faith,

I am a new poster but have been reading these boards for over a year.

IMHO you are feeling like your cup is empty and if you have sex with hubby it will fill your cup. From my experience doing this actually works in the opposite and leaves you feeling even emptier than you did before. Don't assume your hubby is happy with his new AP. With a house full of kids it doesn't take long for the bloom to fall off the rose. My hubby also jumped Into an affair before we separated. He moved her into our house within weeks of me moving out. My poor step daughter came home from a visit with her Mother to find a strange woman living in the house. I had to GAL and detach. It was not easy at the beginning but it was a matter of survival. I was used to keeping busy and doing ,y own thing it was the letting go of him part that was hard. Now fast forward a year and half and they have broken up and she moved out. He told me it was the worst year of his life. He said he made a huge mistake letting her move in. He told me it had affected his health to the degree he went to the hospital with anxiety thinking he was havin a heart attack more than once. We never really know what's going on and our imagination always assumes the worst. My hubby is in MLC and has been for about 3.5 yrs. The fog is starting to lift but he is still not all the way out. Now instead of seeing me in a negative light he told me he wants to date others but still wants me in his life. Doesn't want to divorce me. ( we are legally separated). I reminded him he always liked my strong values and that I do not want a divorce but would not be open to dating him while he is dating others. I know if I was physical with him it would mess me up and I have come to far to get knocked back down. If he decides he wants me it is up to him to step up. Protect yourself Faith. Be a friend to yourself. Read the posts about pursuit and distance. I think you will find them enlightening.