Singing in the Lifeboat

[daring]

AJ, FY, Shining and 123Gwen thank you for the encouragement and kind words!

AJ- I am sometimes too strong I have learned, in that I won't always let someone help me or lean on them. Partially because if issues in my own upbringing. One of the lessons learning through this journey is to focus my strength where it helps me heal but also allow my vulnerability to be present. It's tough but good growth for me.

FY- I'm glad you like the lifeboat analogy! I'm trying to remember that it's our attitude and reactions to what's happened to us, more than the event itself, that are most important.

Shining- I'm working ony attitude- you are leading the way in having a good one for sure! I had a great time at game night- more on that in a minute.

123Gwen- thank you for your compliments. I am a recovering " fixer" so I totally get your comment about having empathy versus trying to manage or fix the situation for our spouses.

So update- game night was awesome and at the last minute H texted me he wasn't going to go as he was sick and so was D13. I asked if was that he preferred we both not be there and if so I could stay with kids. He said not at all, he's perfectly comfortable with me, just didn't feel well.
So I went and we stayed up until 230 AM playing games! We decided it needs to be a recurring thing that we rotate houses to do we had so much fun. There was even a new person from neighbor's work who was a single guy and he was flirting with me quite a bit. At least made me feel good

Today was eldest S 20th birthday and we all went out to dinner he requested to do. Was nice although I'm coming down with a cold- I think kids are sharing- so I was bit tired.
Afterwords we came back to my house to do cake. Before H left he asked if I was ok with tonight ( I guess in reference to dinner all together). I said yeah I was fine- just not feeling good. He said well sometimes you are ok and sometimes not. ( As far as doing things together). It's interesting that he asks those things- shows just how much this crisis and D are about his own issues as he still checks in on me and my feelings.

It's all so strange some days I just stop and think- Is this really where my life is at right now? I'm sure we all do that at times. Back to singing in the lifeboat....