Busting this Divorce - 90 Days NC #3

[HPoirot]

Hello Calibri, rppfl, and happy.

Here's my issue... I'm really getting out of her way. Just accepting and respecting her decisions. Learning how to do so without controlling... like regarding finances... or looking like I'm saying "I told you so."

I see from successful Rs that this is the trick. Enjoy my picnic. No rescuing her outside of an emergency. Focus on fixing me.

So you're right Calibri. S11's there for the night. He'll settle into it and it will be uncomfortable but he can do it. W knows that the newborn baby in the house doesn't sleep well so she I'm sure will have a solution. I told S11 his mom will want to hear his feelings and to not be afraid to upset her. No emergency there.

And yes you're right and not rude at all Calibri... it's amazing to me that my W will make a thoughtless or hurtful decision and then soon after cry for help or a break or money or compassion or a quick response. And then act absolutely entitled to get those things. I know it's fruitless to try to understand so I'm just expecting it. And yes I am frequently exhausted with her.

It's frustrating b/c this with S11 tonight was entirely predictable. I knew this would happen with S11 in the condo so I prepared him and he loves it here. Frustrating that W did not anticipate this. I'm not in her way.

What's best for S11 in this situation? For me to grow to be the best man I can be. Tonight he may be uncomfortable... but his mom will take care of him. And I should expect her to take care of him like she promised.

But what you said worries me Calibri... if I have the chance to keep him here with me where he wants to be... won't he feel badly towards me if I don't take it?

OTOH... I have kept S11 much more nights so far. So I'm the babysitter again.

I'm getting out of her way. Life teaches the lessons... not me.

Still thinking on it...