H has been around a lot. The holidays meant Hanukkah at a friends' house, so he was there. A Christmas dinner at another friends' house meant he was there, too. New Years - he was there (which was really hard because midnight with no one to kiss is awful), all the days I was working but had no one to watch D, he was there (actually, he was here in the house which I didn't love but I didn't fight it, it was easier on D).
Here's to the holidays being over!
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New Year's Day was awful. I cried the whole day. I hated 2014 and I'm not optimistic about 2015.
I cried all of NYE until I went to bed at 9pm and binged watched Netflix. And then I cried some more. Why no optimism about 2015? Aside from the obvious things outlined?
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One good thing: I haven't begged, asked, pursued, hinted, etc about our "status". It has been hard in my most desperate moments but I don't ask because I'm afraid I already know his answer.
But what's your answer? You have just as much of a say as he does? What's the right answer for you, at least right now?
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I just don't know what to do. Doing nothing is feeling like torture.
I'm sorry. But I am glad that you are back. I've been thinking about you? Any progress on your daughter?
What's something that you would like to do for yourself right now?
M:32,H 32 T:10, M5 BD/H Move Out: 9/2014 - extreme anger H Mental Illness Diagnosis: 4/15 Served D Papers: 10/15 Divorced: 11/15