Did not have breakfast this am with H due to miscommunication. I thought he was going to follow up with a time and suggestion and he thought I was to do the same so it didn't happen. He expressed that it wouldn't be our last opportunity to get a meal together. Met him at the funeral. I held his arm to navigate across the cemetery, and we ended up holding hands for the service. He squeezed my hand several times and held on very tightly. This was progress as in the past any physical touch has been very limited, as he hasn't wanted it or when he's given it, it's been very weak for a lack of better words. I'm not reading into it, but I am noting it was there. He noticed my new hair style and color and complimented me on it. After the service we chatted for a few minutes and I had him laughing about my latest shenanigans with friends. I was upbeat, smiling, looked good (as confirmed by several people at the funeral and at the gym afterwards), smelled good and was extremely laid back. He asked about working out and was impressed with the progress I had made. He mentioned that he was making a conscious effort to cut back on smoking. He initiated a hug, said it was good to see me, I pecked him on the cheek and he said he would see me later. That was that.
He looks extremely tired and sad. I don't think this journey is easy for him. He seems more, I don't know, softer with me for a lack of better words. With neighbor dying and news that a family member likely has terminal cancer (we received this news all within 72 hours, when it rains it pours), H seems shook up. He mentioned it that the news was hitting him hard. Perhaps it's putting things into perspective for him? I don't even pretend to imagine what his perspective might be.
From my end, it was a good interaction. I plan on sending him a text later tonight saying that it was good to see him and leave it at that.
M:32,H 32 T:10, M5 BD/H Move Out: 9/2014 - extreme anger H Mental Illness Diagnosis: 4/15 Served D Papers: 10/15 Divorced: 11/15
