Although I have been reading these boards for almost a year I am a brand new poster but I will give you my humble 2 bits.
It sounds to me that your wife is in a bit of a life crisis. She sounds like she is searching and trying to find herself. She may spin for some time and then settle down again. It's hard not to personalize it but really this is not about you. It's about her. If you can distance yourself and GAL. You may find that you will find more ability to forgive and feel some compassion. This doesn't mean accepting unacceptable behavior. It means stepping back, not judging and let her walk her path. Many use FB , TV and other things as an escape from the reality of their own life. Focus on you, your kids finding things to fill the void. Keep busy and make personal goals. If you change your behavior (180), back off, give her space, start living your life whether she wants to be part of it or not. She will notice. This is not a short journey or an easy ride. In time you may decide to stop standing and that's ok. Right now though I sense your anger is shielding you. Happy people don't behave the way your spouse is. You are not responsible for her happiness or her derailing her life. Try thinking of her as a friend that has gone off the tracks. We've all had friends where we needed to back away from them for a while.
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
