Thanks so much for all your comments and feedback!
I'm battling a variety of things at work today, which is why this first posting is so late. I need to get back to things shortly.
PMA is back up and I'm not doing a damn thing about anything right now. I'm living in the NOW.
I re-read Step 3 last night, and I think it will be my next move with Mr. Wonderful. But not right now. I still need some time to figure out what to say and how to say it (an exercise to practice execution). I'm pretty convinced that it will have to take place while he is in his car, because Michele mentions doing it at a time when the spouse is available and receptive to talking.
That much I have figured out.
The rest is still up in the air, so the waiting game continues. I have a few goals to set, which will help me to determine my readiness to tackle this Step and his readiness to being receptive and honest.
1. I will continue to act as if I'm patient. 2. I will pay close attention to the verbal and non-verbal cues he gives me in his conversations with me (both phone and in person). 3. I will observe his choices of wording for clues. 4. I will put his nuts in a vise if he doesn't give me what I want.
Just kidding on #4!
So here's one of my observations.... he phoned me a few minutes ago to chat. First of all, he informed me that he will be driving the motor home over to the house for a spell, because he got a tow warning at the apartment complex.
He was upbeat and very friendly.
He also told me that he will call the recommended repair place to see if he can get an appointment to get the brakes done and the other stuff too--and said he would let me know what he discovered.
Then he asked me if I checked the foundation e-mail account to see who cancelled their foursome. I said yes, and it was a contact of mine, and let him know I would try to find someone else to fill it right away. Then I let him know I would call my friend to enlist his help (since he offered and Mr. Wonderful wanted me to do it). He seemed happy about this and made the segue into the next subject...
Tonight's meal plan. I let him know I grilled a bunch of chicken last night, and he could use some of the smaller pieces with the girls, but requested he leave the larger breasts for me because they were weighed and I need them for my own menu (no smirking on the obvious comeback here).
He started chuckling and commented, "You're getting to be the little grill master, aren't you? Good!"
I replied, "Uh, no. Actually, I still pretty much suck at grilling. I do okay, but not nearly as well as you do."
This sort of validation should make me want to hurl, but it's the truth. I really stink at grilling because I haven't figured out how to deal with the hot spots and the not-so-hot spots. I wasn't cut out to be a grill master!
He asked what he should make me to go along with my chicken? I said, "Nothing. I appreciate the offer, but I'll take care of my veggies when I get home from the gym."
He said okay. I had another call so I told him I had to run (which was the truth). We'll see if he makes any more calls today.
It's looking like time to start a new thread, so I'm working on that.
As far as making a list for myself--regarding the plan I need to make myself more comfortable dangling on this damn rope.... I'm still mulling this over.
What WOULD help is if he would just acknowledge the status of things.
But you said my side only. Right now I need to stay focused on my weight loss program and increasing my exercise time--the latter because it really helps me with my stress level and helps my metabolism. I'm glad I've already been working out for 2 years consistently, because that is now part of who I am and what I do to make myself feel better.
Myrrh, I made some good headway in the Harville Hendrix book. I have to say that I'm really intrigued by some of this stuff. I can honestly say that Mr. W. is a more emotionally crippled version of my father... and God only knows what I have/had in common with his mother and his R with her.... it's sort of sickening but interesting nonetheless. We'll compare notes when we're both finished.
Okay, time to make a couple more posts and get back to work!
Thanks to all (Deb, I guess we'll put the cattle prod on standby for now! )
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
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