Quote: Well, even though I wonder if I'm a complete buffoon for wanting such an emotionally crippled man, I look at my daughters and know that I want to be married to the stooge. Or at least to give it 100% of my effort.
IF I were inclined to address Step 3 with him (Ask for what I want), I could get 2 outcomes: he could agree to things or he could tell me flat out he's ready to file.
Well, let me tell you I did "ask for what I want" I told H I was dismissing the D! What came out of his mouth, nearly sent me into shock! H said he that we should go through with the D! But, as we all know you have to believe nothing of what they say and only 50% of what they do!
So if you are not ready to hear what he may say; DO NOTHING!
Fence sitting is hard and not for the weak, as I well know, first hand!
They get too comfortable, and that was my H, he knows he has to make a big decision; shot, sh*t or get off the pot! I'm still waiting to learn the outcome! But, patience is our friend!
The above first paragraph is your ultimate goal! It is saying to me that no matter what your H has done, no matter what your H's problems are; you love him! It called "unconditional love".
Let this be always in the back of your mind, and when you want to throw in the towel, bring it out. You know that light at the end of the tunnel? Well, put a picture of you, your H and your children there! Always picture what you want to see in the future. It will carry you through the rough times!
Sometimes that picture becomes fuzzy, only you can keep it alive.
As for the separation, don't go there, not yet. You need to try some other techniques first. Let me tell you first hand; when you involve an Att and the courts, you will find it ten times harder to save your M. I learned first hand the consequences of my actions! And believe me it is not a rosey picture!
Set boundaries first, that should get his attention! And wait a while and moniter. Don't rush, time is your friend!
