May your new year be

[Vanilla]

Gg
There is a stirring of old memories and hurts.

As our darling gg stabilises and feels more in control then the old memories are rising. Gg are you seeing an IC at the moment? You may wish to consider it as you have reached a cross road where you are reviewing the abuse of the past. It is an important time and to successfully navigate this passage then you may need extra resources.

There is a sense in which enforcing boundaries causes a backlash, when we discuss this with new GAanon members they are told that there are 3-4 phases of recovering from the abuse of an active compulsive. The first phase is setting boundaries, which meets with disbelief (1-3) months, then enforecement of boundaries (3-6 months) which usually meets with resistance and an attempt to return to codependency and abuse. The next phase is withdrawal of the abusers in an attempt to establish pursuit but often the gamanon member has newer more healthy relationships to replace and finally a life free of abuse.
A great deal of research has been done recently into the spouses and families of alcoholics and those affected with borderline personality disorders. Which shows that without realisation, the spouse of an alcoholic moves from one alcoholic partner to the next. The pattern of attraction is not yet understood, I have read extensively and confess I don't understand it, merely observed it. There are much better minds than mine gg but I am aware extra help at IC will be very useful.

I spent a couple of hours in my research material and there is an AA trainer who trains therapists specialising in helping spouses and families of alcoholics compulsives and BPD. Here is the link to one of his talks, the content is very good but quite theoretical as it is aimed as a training course for specialist therapists and leaders of GAanon groups are recommended to view it. So it isn't populist and dynamic like TED talks.
http://youtu.be/Ytq51GMsd8w

I see this as a good sign gg, not a bad one, you may be ready to deal with all of this and move to new better relationships. There is hope gg in this although of course those around you who are creating all this disturbance are trying to move gg back to where their comfort zones have left them, back to abuse.
Gg keep posting we want to see you happy and strong, without a return to the night terrors and daymares of previous years.

Gg you are in a different space, a space where you can move forward without abuse and with love. I am projecting all of the love and support my higher power has access to and sending this to you across the distance. Thinking about my friend gg at this time.
Peace
Vanilla