barely holding on - 6

[u-turn]

Seems like I am off the db path right now.

W & S20 were having a text message battle about college bills and things he still has here at the house. It broke down into name calling and insults by both. She kept trying to drag me into it. I gave my input on the actual issues but refused to get between them or acknowledge the pissing match that they were having. When I told her that it was unproductive and wouldn't, she blew.

It turned into the talk about what I wanted to do about us. How I wanted to separate.

I spoke, looking directly at her. I told her that this was not working for me and she was free to leave.

I told her it would be best if she moved out.

I stuck to the script as well as possible. left some parts out. Thought it would be calmer than it turned out.

She was shocked by this. She thought I would just leave. She said that she would not leave her kids. She tried to put words in my mouth-like I was taking the kids from her and accusing her of being a bad mother. I assured her that this was not the case that we would raise the kids as equal co-parents.

I really didn't want to talk about the details yet. Though I see that this may be a battle.

She asked why I think she should leave. I told her that based on the decissions she was making. That she clearly doesnt want to be with me.

Her last statement before the kids came home was that "fine, you keep the house. You keep it all. I will find a place for the three of us".

She stared at me and had a little smile on her face.

I left it at that for now. Didn't go at all how I envisioned it.

I really have thoughts that she is a person that I don't want to be married to. She is not a good person right now. The things she was telling our son were shocking. She could have been talking about herself.

Exhausted.