My story of WAH

[seaspin]

New Years Day - WAH picked up the kids for dinner. He seemed grumpy and in a hurry when he came in. He comes in the front door and I ask politely if he would go out and around the house to the garage (for him to use my van) rather than walk through the house with snow on his shoes. He did that the day before and I didn't say anything even though it bothered me. Or rather, I tried, but I don't think I was confident when I spoke because I thought he might see it as criticism. Today, I was more confident having had time to practice what I would say.

I was dressed up and ready to go out and do my own thing. The kids kept asking where I was going, but I wouldn't tell them. Really, I didn't go anywhere special, just shoe shopping. But, I don't want H to know that. Shopping without kids is always fun!

WAH took the kids to a bouncy house place where he fed them dinner. This was surprising to me because he is always concerned about the cost of taking the kids to places like this and he had to pay for 3 kids, which was quite expensive plus he bought them pizza to eat. They did not go to his apartment at all. Unusual. Then when he dropped them off, he seemed in a hurry to leave. This was the night that he originally told me he had plans and said he couldn't take the kids. Once I pushed that it was his night and I had my own plans, he said he would change "this time".

After dropping off the kids, I asked about his final thoughts on doing some therapy for D7 for her auditory processing issues. We've been discussing it over the last month and he's been totally against it because there are no proven studies showing how beneficial this particular therapy would be. However, I know quite a few people who have gone through the program with good results. It's been a sticky issue because I feel like he totally dismisses my opinion and the results of those who have gone through the program. He wants solid proof, but he doesn't talk to the people I know nor does he involve himself enough to understand why D7 needs something.

One of his complaints with me in the M was that I dismiss all his ideas & opinions. Normally, I push back but this time I presented my evidence and then asked him what alternatives he thought would be best. He had no answer and finally decided to let me do the therapy. I was totally expecting he would say no, so it was def a surprise. Years before BD he would probably have said yes right away. Since then, he's become skeptical about most ideas that I have presented him.

Anyway, even though our interaction was brief, I don't think anything negative happened. He was very quiet, although briefly told me what the kids ate and that they should've gotten alot of energy out. H looked tired and was in a hurry to leave. Normally, he's not that much in a rush, although he doesn't necessarily linger for a long period of time. Just middle of the road.