Bets, I like the direction that you are taking, the deadline felt wrong for some reason, this is better, it is almost like my sitch but not so extreme.
In this way you are being honest with MR.W about where you are right now. The boundries that are in place in my sitch have given me a great sense of security.
He is not going to return at any time soon if he thinks that you will be waiting for him forever.
It also reminds me of Trips sitch, I have found that we DB'ers put alot of pressure on ourselves which our spouses seem to sense. We need to realize that we are not doing anything wrong by trying to save the marriage.
Once in a while the pressure needs to shift to the WAS, let them stew on things for awhile. They are the ones walking away. Like my Dad says "she started the avalanche, yet she gets mad everytime you start to dig yourself out!"
My only advice is to be firm but gentle.
I have often asked W ..." why did your quest for independance and confidence have to come at the expense at the people who love her most?"
We dont want to be guilty of the same things that our WAS's did.
Other than that I think you are doing the right thing.
always Mike
BTW MrW is making a big mistake, you are a very special lady!
