The only one who knows what you are truly ready for is you. That said…

I’m always in favor of detachment! And I agree that MW doesn’t have a lot of incentive to get his rear in gear on reconciling this marriage. However, I think that the plan needs a little tweaking.

First of all, when you address MW he may receive it as you have see nothing different that has come of the past year. That may be more of the same behavior. Can you point out to him the improvements you’ve seen in him? Maybe point out the one’s you have created in yourself? And then segue with your BUT. BUT…you’re feeling caught in the middle of marriage and divorce and in order to make a clear decision on where things should head you think it is time for a legal separation, including the concept toning down the friendship and turning the open door policy into a knocking one. I know that you aren’t trying to come across as saying that you’re done wasting your time with this baloney…but a WAS may perceive it as such.

Don’t eat me Bruce, I come in peace! But…one more question…what are you hoping will happen from legally separating? Are you hoping it will jump-start him? Quell your rising resentment? Open doors for new lifestyles? What is the ultimate goal in telling him that his key doesn’t fit in the lock any longer?

"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere." --Agnes Repplier, writer and historian