But I just have this irrational fear of always loving him, but not being together again, and never really recovering.
Its a big fear to have but it is irrational. as long as you know that
you probably will always love him in some way, noone can be part of your life for 11yrs and for you to not love them at all in anyway. Its what you do with that that matters, whether that love is used for compassion and forgiveness or whether it becomes bitterness and hatred (my parents opted for the latter after their divorce)
and as for the short term boyfriends - so what?
I got really stressed out (proper breakdown stuff which did serious damage to our Marriage) over the number of exs my wife had had (2 relationships cover my history since i was 19 and there is a lot more to this story, but....). She kept trying to tell me that she had all those exs because she was choosy, if she wasnt then plenty were good enough, but in the end she picked me because it was me that she fell in love with (we'll gloss over that she regrets this now). I wished i'd listened
anyway my point is you picked the right person and you didnt settle for second best. you can make a good decision and have a bad outcome, its one of those things. as long as you try to make a good decision thats right for you, the odds will play in your favour.
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
