Hi Vanilla, you are right it is very important to have specific goals in mind or in my opinion you will not reach them or if you do you will not know it!
So to answer your question, I am still pondering some of my exact goals. My life is pretty darn incredible already and I'm really living the dream! I'm a lucky girl. But some of my specific goals for new experiences and adventures this year are: -travel to Asia and maybe Africa -take dance classes -work on developing and maybe even selling my art
As far as working to be more happy, loving and peaceful - I plan to work harder on maintaining and developing relationships in my life with family and friends. Scheduling more time with them and being more present. Also I want to be inspired by folks like ganb8te and do regular yoga and meditation. I think that will help me to be more peaceful and grounded.
Mozza, dgb60, rppfl I'm glad to hear that there are others who agree/understand this feeling I'm having about my role in all this. And Mozza I totally relate to what you said about thanking my WAS in the future for making this decision and also what you said about wanting to get back together so we can break up properly. I completely understand what you mean. I also wonder if I simply want him to ask to get back together so I can tell him NO. I worry about my own motives sometimes.
Ganb8te how does this change my desire to reunite? I don't know. I guess all along I have wondered if I really wanted HIM or if it was only my bruised ego. I know you will probably relate that I am independent and fine on my own and so I don't need him. And since we have no kids there is really no reason other than love. And then he has behaved so badly and treated me with little respect so why would I desire to reunite with him? I have to take a hard long look at our relationship before BD to discover if I want that back. And when I did that, I realized that maybe it was my choice to split up after all.
After thinking some more about it I realized what I think is the core truth for many of us here. We feel rejected and sad and want our WAS back. But if they came back, many many things would have to change. Not just what has happened since BD with their crappy behaviors - no. Also many things about the R, even when it was good. We were not 100% happy, maybe we then acted in ways that didn't support the relationship and the WAS left us.
Was I a bad wife? Did I do mean and terrible things? No! I was a good wife and I was loving and supportive. When problems started to surface I didn't face them, I hid from them and so did he, until they got out of control. When things started to go wrong I got angry and aggressive, then sad and pleading. Was I a bad wife? A bad person? No way! I could have done better however.
