Devastated Husband; Need Advice...Part 2

[Calibri]

Again, how long are you going to fund the other place?

I don't think you should fund her at all, although I understand the army requires you to do so, and she could make trouble for you if you don't.

But what kind of message are you sending to her if you fund her path to "discovering herself"? If she wants to be independent, she should be independent in the sense that she gets a roommate, gets a second job, sells plasma, etc to make ends meet. It sounds like she went from her parents house, to being married, to getting divorced to getting married to you. Has she ever had to take care of herself? If not? Now's the prime to learn, just like everyone else on this board has had to learn. She isn't going to become self sufficient and achieve her dreams if you're funding her to keep her from falling on her face. She wanted out, she's out. Let her figure it out on her own - like do you pay the electric bill or the car insurance with what little money you have left and it's a week before pay day.

Using money as a bribe to get her out of the OM's house is simply that. A bribe. So, she moves out of OM's house? What's to stop her from contacting him? To keep on conversing? Is she going to resent you because you forced her hand? Is the absence going to make the heart grow fonder?

Either way, you're Either, enabling her or trying to manipulate her and I think both choices have the potential to rear back and gouge your eyes out.


And yes, my H early into this told me if I didn't STFU that he was going to file for divorce. My smart ass (before I knew about DB) told him that it was childish to threaten me into submission and that he should brush up on our states laws about D because there was a waiting period for filing. And since he clearly didn't know what the hell he was talking about? Not to threaten me with something he couldn't back up.

Ironically, he stopped that [censored] after that conversation.