Singing in the Lifeboat

[daring]

Hmmm- new consequences for H to deal with tonight. S17 tslked to him about the fact that he wants to primarily live at my house. He's willing to go see H and stay with him some but not as often as he has been. ( To be clear it's not because he wants to live with me per se, but because this is what he identifies as home). He explained that he's struggling with the fact that he will be moving out for college in a year and a half and needs to further develop his identity and learn to take care of himself. I think much of it is normal teenage angst. He also talked about the animals ( 2 dogs, 2 cats) that he feels close to and wants to be with. H used to be ok with animals but since MLC gets annoyed with them and their normal messes so he doesn't have any.
When H came downstairs after talking to S17 he seemed forlorn. He said he feels the kids should be influenced by both of us. I said I agree. He said but that won't happen if he stays here all the time. I didn't say anything in response. I was thinking to myself that he made this choice he had to realize things like this may happen- but in his MLC fog he thought it would all be fine.
I do feel bad as I think it's impirtant for S17 to spend time with his dad and I'm willing to find ways for that to happen if he doesn't go over there. We also both know that D13 will protest as she's wanted to do the same thing. But this is the reality of breaking up your family while you " find yourself".