Hello Vanilla and Sandi.

Thank you Vanilla. One day at a time is right. I'm better everyday... only 2 down stretches a day. That'll be gone in a few more days.

Yes Sandi... that was precisly what she meant. She was on the internet in women's magazines following how to separate as friends advice. That was her fantasy... her "procedure"... to compassionately let me down easy while enjoying her secret A, being a great mom, and living off my paycheck for months while she saved her money for her own place.

Then she'd say she found someone after we separated and we'd all be friends at the end and I'd be happy for her and she would "dance at my wedding." I remember the dreamy look on her face when she was talking about all this and how great and "crazy" being separated would be for us and how energized she felt about life changing.

Then I started acting and she became miserable as she is now. Dreamy look long gone.

I have not really thought about OM. If I did, I'd think he was away with his family for the holidays.

She has said she is staying with her aunt until she gets her own place. Whether she does or stays with OM... she won't keep S11 if she doesn't have her own place and she can't do her job or be the mom she wants to be without a car. She says she is stressed about that I and believe her. She has to get those things done quick if she wants to keep her son for overnights and keep his trust (he says he doesn't trust her). When I BD'd her about the condo, she cried to me to not let her son see her sleeping on someone else's couch.

Even so, I would think she may feel afraid to ask for or take money from OM b/c in her emails she says she is afraid he will leave her b/c she has so much going on. This was before I took my money from her and she started having real problems with me.

If she was secure in him... or would feel embarrassed to tell him her money problems (more likely b/c see feels "trapped" and embarrassed about our tax debt)... she wouldn't have been willing to stay with me and my money for 8 months. Then I discovered her PA and she went crazy and stopped going out at night to stay with him and feigned transparency to stay friendly instead of just leaving. She's even still asking me for money help in paying S11's tuition and our taxes and her student loans. She's not going to get my help.

So, she shows she does not want to bring her money pressure problems into her fantasy A. And, if she does, he seems the type to pressure her to to let him help. We'll see.


Me: 44
W: 45
S: 11
Married: 15
Together: 18
BD: 9/29/2014
OM discovered: 10/16/2014
I left her behind: 12/14/2014