DB is for the rest of your life, for you not just to repair your M.
Happiness for each of us comes from ourselves, the only way to get happy is by yourself alone.
There is something incredibly fragile about your posts, I can't put my finger on it quite yet but there is a brittle sense, like thin ice about to crack.
I too had a stillbirth and miscarriage, it is hard to deal with even after many years. A very difficult thing indeed and your H may be struggling too with this. Such loss creates great grief. Only time will help you and specialist help. A great deal of your descriptions sound like grief. You may wish to examine some of the Kubler Ross books on grief. recovery could be doubly difficult if your current child is sickly or difficult. H may simply be protecting himself from further hurt from loss, 'I didn't want M or kids' sounds typical.
I am also a little concerned about your slap (hit). This is unacceptable, you know this?
It is physical abuse and must stop. Full stop. Anger in the presence or near a child is an urgent issue to resolve. Treat this seriously and consider IC together with anger management. Frustration needs other outlets.
H1 keep posting, but some changes are probably less difficult than you think, explore medical help for both you and H. Have you looked at the depression link to this recently. It seems to me that there is usually a simple explanation for even the most complex sitches. A simple truth which when uncovered can resolve a number of problems. P and D whilst interesting are likely a distraction, the truth is usually less prosaic and simpler.
Please drop by Vanilla again, there is usually bright and breezy GAL as V knows she is here for the long haul. Regards Vanilla
Last edited by Vanilla; 01/01/1511:58 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
