I continue to interact with some of these people because A- I would like to cultivate more of a friendship with her as we have a lot in common and I really like her. I think she was more naive when it came to the EA and how it happened- and might not even realize the extent of feelings my H developed. And B- these are the parents of kids best friends whom we also carpool to and from school with and my nanny helps with all of those arrangements as well. I can't fully shut them out and they aren't going anywhere- they live next door. The more I distance myself ( which I did during the EA b/c I was so hurt) the more I end up not being as up on what's going on with my kids because of how much they all interact day to day with them. If my H wasn't going I would have no issues with going. But since he is, and so are a couple other friends of his ( mine too but less so) that all worked together at one time, I feel like I will be uncomfortable more because it reminds me of the left out feelings I had before all of this started with H but I knew something wasn't rigjt. I don't so much care what they think as much as I want to be able to march in there and participate despite all the history and BS. I don't want to not be a part of things that I would otherwise want to just because of H. This is why I'm so confused.
Otherwise I'm doing pretty ok I think, given everything going on. This is the first sad day I've had in awhile. Hopefully it will pass soon.
Me 41 H 40 M 20 T 23 S 19,16, 8 D 13 BD1 dec 2012 not sure going to work BD2 sep 2013 seeking a D Filed oct 2013, D Feb 2015 Life is about daring greatly, about being in the arena- Brene Brown
