Barb, I'm so sorry to read what's happened w/the workers that are there to assist w/Ryan. You are the customer/employer who is paying for Ryan's care. In the future, when asked if you need something when they go out, politely tell them no. You've got to get back to the basics of them carrying for Ryan only. Apparently, because L wasn't around, possibly the real J came out. She's got a lot of resent bubbling under the skin and only plays nice and goes the extra mile when L is around (at least that's what I'm getting from your posting).
Also, I know you want to treat them kindly, but you can't be friends w/them. You have to draw the line in the sand and set your boundaries w/them. Quite frankly, J and L both have overstepped themselves and taken advantage of your good nature. This is what happens sometimes when workers become very comfortable in their positions, i.e., knowing you need them and will do just about anything to keep them happy.
Barb, time to set those boundaries and let both young ladies know who is the boss and who is paying their salaries in your home.
I'm sorry, I think it's just horrid and disrespectful both of them have been to you. They do not realize how good they have had it w/you as an employer.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
