Busting this Divorce - 90 Days NC #3

[HPoirot]

Thank you Vanilla for your always beautiful and inspiring words. You are a blessing.

...

I touch of concern and headache with the W...

We have the one family car. When I left the condo with S11... I also took the car.

I told W that I would pay half of a rental car for 30 days. She seemed to forget I said that the first week of S. The 2nd week, she wanted access to the family car. I had to remind her I offered to pay half of a rental car. She asked for $300 which seemed high. She ended up taking $400. She eventually put the extra $100 back (after I asked her about it). The next week, she asked for $300 again. I gave her $150 and explained why.

Now, I sent her a plan yesterday for buying her out of our family car and using that money to pay for her part of our move from our old home. She almost immediately agreed to it by saying "That's fair." This morning, though, she said she couldn't afford it. I explained how the plan is fair and she said "If that's the right number, I'll have to honor it."

I also asked her for the keys to our car today. She texted she would leave them in our old home (for me to get tomorrow). When I saw her today, I asked for the key. She got kind of weird saying "oh I left them..." then she started waving her hand around like she was trying to think of the name of the thing where she left the key. She never said. Her car key is on her house key.. always in her purse.

Back to earlier this morning... I went for a drive. Got in the car and noticed, the rear car seats were up when I had left them down. W had been in the car yesterday when she came to pick up S11. No problem, I think. She wanted to get something.

But then I start thinking... Why say she would leave her car key in the house when she's driving in her rental to see me today?

One of my fears since the condo move idea (thanks Wonka) was that she would fight for the car. She has argued a few times about the car as joint property that she should have access to. The car rentals were good... but I might pay for only one more week. And she won't have money on her own to get a car and an apartment next month easily with all the other bills she now has to pay on her own.

I'm pretty sure she will try take the car tonight or tomorrow morning when she comes to pick up S11 to take him to hotel overnight in the mountains (when she has no money). I imagine she feels stuck and trapped (her words) by all the financials now. I've seen her lash out terribly whenever she feels this way and she was jittery this morning. I really think she will do this.

I am very sad about this. I hope I am wrong. Even so... I parked our car down the street and around the corner instead of the condo parking lot.

Even worse... before I BD her about the condo and hr PA... she was being nice to me about buying S11 a computer for Christmas. She mentioned she wanted to use it too for her business to "look good." Even after we moved, she kept texting "Are you going to get a computer for S11?" She even asked Christmas morning. I never answered. Of course I got him the best PC out now which he loves. Since, she has asked S11 to bring it to her so she can see it. For this little trip their going on, she has texted to me again specifically to pack it.

She is going to get S11 in the middle asking to borrow the computer Dad brought for him. I hope not... and I wouldn't like it if she did.

Anyway... a bit of a headache now about this. I really really do not trust my W... especially now that she seems cornered by her choices. She agreed to the plan to easily yesterday and this morning... both time bringing up the low cost of the condo... the low cost she was depending on to finance her adventures.

I really hope she's not trying to disrespect me again. Before I left... in one of her sad moments... she talked about how all her plans and ideas for her dream life had failed. I hope she remembers now she's married to a genius. I trusted her before so I was in full denial. That's no longer the case.

Man... if all this is true... how can I possibly keep standing for this woman? Is this MLC or anger or fear? Or is this person the real person she's been hiding all this time?

She really sees me as the enemy to her happiness.

How can we ever R?

...

Funny... the doorman here recognized the tension between me and my W. He confidentially told me his story of separation and near D. HE and his W got all the way to the D table after a 6 month S. She hated him. At the table... they decided to give it another try. It took and they've stayed M 40 something years now. Maybe not happily... but still.