Happy New Year Everyone! I hope 2015 brings you all much joy, new opportunities and growth. I hope for the same but I'm off to a bit of a rocky start. My world is closing in a bit at present. I need some input and advice. I can't talk to the source as it would make it worse and I can't post on FB since those involved creep my page and would know. My stomach is churning and I'm walking on eggshells - we all remember how that was.
So - this is about my disabled son, Ryan's care. Not a DB subject but one that many of you are familiar with either in your own lives or just listening to me.
Since we ditched the "Agency from Hell" nearly 2 years ago (or was it them ditching us?). Regardless - we gained the best worker of the bunch "L". She was the Golden Girl. Cared for Ryan in the kindest, sweetest manner. Lovely to have around. Always pleasant to us. Just a joy. Took her and a former worker to Disney World just over a year ago and then again this past Oct/Nov.
L is young (26) but smart and self assured (apparently) but perhaps a little too quiet. She had been coming into her own. She was with a boyfriend for 10 years and they had bought a house together. Had a couple of dogs. While we were away last year in Disney the other worker mentioned that he boyfriend seemed to be abusive to her on the phone, causing her to cry. That was the first sign of a problem.
J started working for us 18 months ago. From the get go she wanted to impress us and went above and beyond. Offering to do things that we would never have asked of her - but things that were most helpful. We really liked her (but always had a bit of a sense of her wanting to outrank L). The 2 got on well, though and even communicated or went out - outside of work. Not a good thing, really, but something I have no control over.
J told me in Sept that L's boyfriend was abusing her, they were breaking up and he had attempted suicide. L took 2 weeks off and J and our one other worker covered her time off. I was worried about our upcoming trip to Disney as she seemed distracted and a bit :"off" when she returned. The trip started off good but soon she started checking her phone constantly or pulling it out while working (forbidden). J told me she felt it was disrespectful. So did I but really said nothing. I did not want to upset the trip. Then J woke me at 2 AM one night to say that L had gone out at 11 and not returned. She went and checked the nearby hot tub but when she did not find her - I called Security. They found her at another hot tub - about a 10 min walk away. I was upset and our sleep was all disturbed. She did not understand why we were upset - we explained it wasn't safe and we were losing sleep worrying. Asked her to at least let us know where she was going. She then did the same the next night and I called her cel at 4 to ask her to come in. I lost another night's sleep. On returning home - I noticed her using her cel often and mentioned it to the agency. During a staff meeting after that - they spoke to all about the cel phones and L stormed out in tears as she felt she was being picked on. Following all this - I still managed to host a Christmas party for all staff and gave them nice gifts. All were in jovial moods and seems happy and appreciative. I'm leaving for FLorida on Monday for 3 months. I went into Ryan's room on Monday and asked L if she could text me once a day while I'm away to let me know how Ryan is doing. Apparently that set her off and a flurry of calls/texts between her and J went down that night. And L gave her notice that she was quitting!!! J told me the next day. I panicked. J then convinced her to take a 2 month leave of absence (she is having surgery in Feb anyway and would be off). The agency have used to 2 remaining girls to cover all the shifts (12 hours a day) but that leaves them overworked. They agreed to get right on hiring new backup staff as soon as the holidays are over. I am feeling very unsettled. Yesterday morning I went into Ryan's room to give J a thank you card for something nice she had done for me and to give her 2 English snapping crackers for her and Ryan for New Year's Eve. She started to talk to me again about the situation. (She also had been told NOT to talk to me about it or upset me) She started a list of her grievances with me. It ranged from being asked to pick something up at Walmart on Christmas Eve (when she was there with Ryan - we live more than a half hour away and she always offers to pick up anything I need), to telling me it's not her responsibility to get the snow tires on the van (which it probably isn't but the girls always offer to do that so they don't miss a day of being able to go out in the van to go other places). She said "I am not your slave!". There was a lot said. And I started to cry. Josh walked in and caught the second half of her rant (which really should have been directed at the agency or at herself for always offering to do extras). She told me if the agency knew she was talking to me - she would be fired. I ended up leaving the room - I wanted to vomit. After comforting me - I asked Josh to go back in to see if she was alright. Obviously she was having a breakdown. She went on and on. He talked her down a bit but then his sister phoned so I went in to give him the phone and she talked to me again. She hugged me. Said she was sorry. Never meant any of those things (there was much more she had said that was very very hurtful). Said she liked me as a person - I could even be a best friend if she didn't work for me. She cried. I cried. She thanked me for coming back in. But she still wasn't going to text me how Ryan is while I'm away (I don't get that). She went on and on about how the other worker (fairly new) was assigned 110 hours during the next 2 weeks to which I replied. "Not your problem" but at the same time told me she would not come in early or stay late even though my babysitter for while Ashley is away needs a bit more time so she can get to and from her other job. So - here I sit. I have not slept. I am hurt, angry and scared. We live in a rural area so I can't lose my workers. But there is underlying crap going on that no one would talk about and it has festered and now it is all a mess. I just want to bang their heads together. Oh - get this - all this went on right in front of RYAN!!!! I'm sorry this is so long. I need to get it out. If I call the agency (its a holiday of course) - they will fire J for causing me this SH!T. But in my heart of hearts - that is not what I want. Both J and L are awesome with Ryan and I don't want to lose them. Josh thinks I might want to consider leaving later for Florida but this is Ashley's only vacation this year and she has booked 10 days off. I can't do that to her and I really need to get out of here. Does anyone have any advice to help me out here? Neither J or L will be working here for the next few days until I head to the airport on Sunday. Just the new "overworked" worker.
