To Pursue or Not

[Arcola]

Of all the days here I am on New Year's Eve semi happy but upset too. So here goes.

Wife and I were suppose to take the kids over one of her friends house and bring in the New Year, but things changed because of the weather (I'm guessing). So now wife is having some friends over to bring in the New Year and the kids will be staying with me for the night. Moreover, I really don't think plans changed due to weather, because when I went over this morning spur of the moment to help kids get ready so she could get to a Dr. appointment, I saw two 12 packs of different kinds of beer. So, I'm thinking she bought them yesterday when I watched the kids so she could go to the store for a few things.

So as the evening begins we take all the kids to a birthday party for a daycare friend of D3 and S4 (signature needs updating). It went well. A few things I found of interest. Wife asks the lady of the house how long her husband and her had been married She responds 27 years (If I'm not mistaken). Also, somewhere along the conversation while there, it comes up that we stay off the same street. Wife plays this we stay off the same street as if we really are living together. On one hand I'm like yeah I would probably keep it simple, untrue if needed since we haven't known these people for years. On the other hand I'm like why are you lying.

After the birthday we go back to wife's house and I stay for a few minutes before I go hang out over a friend's house for a couple of hours. While at friends house she texts me, "Am I on my way" or something of the sorts. I respond I'll be leaving in 10 minutes. I actually leave in 20 minutes or so unintentionally. When I pull up at her house I see one of her girlfriend's car and another car. When I go inside her girlfriend isn't there and her customer is. (Customer being a Government Civilian who is the manager of a task the contracting company she works for has)

I've met this guy on a few occasions and he seems like a nice guy. I suspect he might be gay, but I also suspect he is just "uppity" and a pretty boy. Anyway, I speak to him nicely as always while I'm there getting the kids. Wife helps me get the kids in the car and when I come over to the driver side while she's finishing getting a kid in the car on my side, she turns and walks to the back of the car as if she's heading inside the house. I'm not sure if she planned on saying something or giving me a hug wishing me a happy new year (me hoping) or what. But I see this and go ahead and say Happy New Year and see you tomorrow (she's coming over to spend time with kids) and get in the car and she walks back to the house.

So here's the venting if none of the above wasn't. I know I shouldn't be concerned with her plans and what she does, but there was definitely a change of plans and I don't think the bringing in the New Year was just going to be at her place. If it was I'm sure her girlfriends would have been there, she probably wouldn't have been so dressed up with make-up, and she would have had food out. Moreover, her and Customer were sipping wine.

As I mentioned above, I initially took customer as a nice guy just as I did OM, but now I'm thinking otherwise. I'm thinking of all the people who could be over here, why is he here. Ethics and customer/contractor relationships/interactions is a big deal as I work for a Government contracting company also. So on that note, I'm like you both know you are wrong. Moreover, I'm beginning to suspect Customer may be intenionally or unintenionally moving in (not living) with my WAW. Only time will tell.

I know this is only New Years, and it hurts the way I'm bringing in. It'll be cheerful nonetheless as my kids are still up at 11:32 PM minus S10 mos, sleep, and D9 at sleepover. So I'll be bringing it in with them and moreover I'm thankful that I and they will if God's will be living to bring in the New Year.

Many DBers mention our spouses have given us the gift of time, but this time is quite the obstacle in life. I'm looking forward to my first session with a DB coach Fri. Right now despite my high emotions I sort of feel like I won't to file for D or confront WAW on the way things are going (since moving out was I guess a solution to things not getting better between us while we were living under the same roof). But, some little hope in me is saying play it cool and see how this coaching plays out.

I hope if 2015 in its entirety is promised to all us DBers, that it is pleasant and we all be in better places physically and emotionally come 2016. So to all Happy New Year!