Inbetween Land

[Faith2b]

I definitely did a very hard thing tonight. My exh called he said he would be working and if the kids went to him that the OW would watch the kids. He said he wanted to give me first opportunity to parent (which is in our agreement). As much as I wanted to say hell no I know that I cant stop this interaction. Im completely devastated that after going on 4 weeks he has someone around my children. We have only been split up for a month and a half. He texted me "So your cool with that?" I gave no response. Their is no reason to respond to something I have no choice in nor does he really care about. Im completely hurt by this whole tragic family dynamic as of now but I know this is what I have to do. I have to put my big girl panties on. Im gonna go to church tonight. I definitely will need too. Im dumb founded by this whole situation. How a man can allow his family to be subject to this kind of display but its beyond me. I have to GAL with all my life because my kids need me. I love them and I want them to have the best possible. A balanced mommy may be all they will have in this world and as much as their father is out of my grips. I have to remember this is only temporary. This to shall pass