Ah BA, men love to do things! If we see a need we sweep right in to fix it...well, some of us anyway. If we do things to make things right then we won't be rejected, right? I've been saviour in both my last relationships...at least in the last one I decided no more. It was just one sitch to another and I was running my butt off trying to make it all have a fairy tale ending...it did, but without me in the end In my marriage I ran my butt off too, trying to handle everything so that Voldy didn't have a nervous breakdown. That got me a divorce. Is she any happier without me? Nope. Like your Mom, it's her equilibrium, it's the way she knows how to be...it's comforting and secure when you live in what you know. I work with people all the time whose lives are a friggin' mess but want to do nothing about it...cuz doing something means change and we don't like change! Anyway, glad you got in touch with your issue and can now try and keep it in check with your new love...it'll crop up cuz these issues always do. Happy New Year.
In my marriage I ran my butt off too, trying to handle everything so that Voldy didn't have a nervous breakdown. That got me a divorce. Is she any happier without me? Nope. Like your Mom, it's her equilibrium, it's the way she knows how to be...it's comforting and secure when you live in what you know. I work with people all the time whose lives are a friggin' mess but want to do nothing about it...cuz doing something means change and we don't like change! Anyway, glad you got in touch with your issue and can now try and keep it in check with your new love...it'll crop up cuz these issues always do. 