And, Happy1? A VERY important question to ask your self is this:
Why did YOU choose someone that was so ambivalent about the relationship? What part of YOU thinks you don't deserve someone who worships you and wants to be with you?
I ask this question because it's one I had to answer myself. My ex was ambivalent before the wedding; cheated on me the night before our wedding; I thought we worked it all out a year into the marriage, but periodically throughout our 24 years marriage issues would come up. He cheated again about 17 years into the marriage. We reconciled (thanks DB!) and had several of the best years of our marriage - but as he approached 50 he went down the rabbit hole for good.
I would have said that overall our marriage was quite good; I know that friends saw us as a great couple. But the truth is, I was stuck ALWAYS trying to keep an unhappy man happy. He saw my flaws through a distorted funhouse mirror, and nothing I did was ever quite enough for him.
After my divorce, I had to figure out why I was attracted to emotionally unavailable men. I also found out that I'm quite a catch, and every single one of the men I dated after my divorce thought my ex was a fool for leaving me.
Now I have a man in my life who adores me, goes out of his way to care for me, and thinks I'm perfect just the way I am. It is so refreshing, to be with someone who treats me with the same care that I always put into my relationships.
I'm not saying you should give up on your man. But if it is ever going to work, you need to stop the dynamic; you need to trust that YOU are worth it, that HE is losing out if he walks. You need to be of the mindset that you don't WANT a man that isn't totally into you.
Act as if YOU are the prize and he is making the biggest mistake ever. Take whatever steps necessary to move forward with a successful independent life for you and your child. Let go of the rope with H and just trust that if he is MEANT to come back into your life, if he is WORTHY, he will eventually start to pursue you.
