Hello happy1! So, you are aware that you are a pursuer? If you've been doing the pursuing, then stop right now, drop the rope and have faith in yourself and in the process. Sometimes, you have to drop the rope and allow the other person, your h, to realize that you are not going to run after him any longer. In order to break this cycle of the "dance" of pursuit and distance, you will need to be the one to do so. If he goes off to sulk, let him, because like a child, he'll get over it. If he leaves the house for a while after an argument, let him. He'll either come home or not, but that will be his choice to make.
Will the relationship survive if you stop pursuing and doing the things that you've been doing? You have a far better chance of turning things around if you stop what is not working. The more your pursue, plead beg, etc., the more determine he will be to run and make your life miserable because he doesn't want to be pulled back into a relationship that he sees as not what he wants right now. There are no guarantees that he will want to return even if life is better between the two of you. It's too soon to tell what he may or may not do.
From your list, I would suggest that you get back into the saddle and start dbing once again. Of course, you know that dbing is not about saving your marriage, but about saving you, teaching you how to react to things, as well as how to communicate better not only w/your h, but w/everyone. I would also suggest that you get the DR book that is out as well.
You do realize that he's going to point the finger at you for everything? Notice he's certainly not pointing it at himself. Work on the things that he's pointed out, if they are true. If they aren't, pitch them out the window. Sounds like he's a master at manipulation and/or he's passive-aggressive. Please stop begging for sex. I know you want that closeness, but it puts you in a "needy" position. Go out and purchase some toys to help you when he's in that mood of not wanting any.
Please understand that you can't fix him. He has to do that all by himself. You can only work on yourself and take care of your child. The time has come for me to say "focus on you and allow your h to swing in the wind." You didn't break him, therefore you can't fix him. When he starts to realize that you aren't begging, pleading and pursuing, he'll begin to wonder what's going on and will become curious. If he does, stay the course and do not take up the "hunt" again.
Drop the rope, have faith in the process. It does work.
