I absolutely understand your feelings and we share a lot of the same frustrations with our Hs. You've been through a lot. I also lost a grandmother in 2011--she was the most amazing woman and an awesome role model and the way she died makes no sense to me, knowing who she was. I think all of that was also part of our demise as a couple.
Financially it sounds like we were married to the same man. And I also think I will have a lot more stability when I'm divorced. But there is still this part of me that wishes we could figure it out together. Our communication has always been awful and I was convinced that everything would be perfect once we figure that out. Now I am starting to think that he never really wanted to figure it out.
It's so sad, but when you read over what you right this issue isn't because you aren't loved, it's that he is incapable of being a loving and supportive husband. His problem, not yours. Everyone keeps telling me it will get better. Right now it feels worse because I have finally accepted the reality of the situation--and that makes me angry. All of those feelings I didn't allow myself to feel before have taken over.
The only way past is through. And it is good to know that we are all going through together. ((hugs)) Here is to a better year ahead!
40s 2teens M14Y BD-10/12/13 rec-1/14 BD2-5/14 rec2-9/14 EA disc-10/14 4/15-BD 3 and triangulation ensues Served with D6/15 MS forced to leave7/15 D agreement signed 8/16 final 5/17
