Thank you mustard seed. The last several years have been SO demanding. I moved house in 2013 and 2012. BD in 2013 and separation in 2014. Listed our house for sale in 2011 because of financial issues (kids were 8, 5, and 3; it took six months and we lost a lot of money). Money issues. H traveling constantly. Family all so far away. Problems with my parents. Me alone all the time, morally If not factually. No stability in my life since... Ever? H is on his 5th job since 2004. Lost one of his grandmothers and both mine in the last 5 years.
If the only way I can get a stable life is by being divorced from him it will be worth it because this insane life brings out the worst in me and is the complete opposite of what I need to be well.
But I'm so angry with him for his part in this instability. For never making goals with me or communicating (if he even knew) what he was looking for with all the job changes. For not working with me on our financial goals. For claiming we could afford things when he just assumed we could and hadn't done the number crunching to know. For saying yes to stuff to shut me up when he didn't agree but wasn't willing to discuss.
I'm still angry with him for not getting up in the mornings to kiss me goodbye when I had to drive 600 miles to consult with my thesis advisor in graduate school when I had to finish long distance because we'd moved for his job (so he would travel less).
Exocet for the kids, right at this moment, I wish I'd never married him. Which I think maybe isn't true, but I am so angry and disgusted with him.
Last edited by Maybell; 12/31/1409:10 PM.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
