Busting this Divorce - 90 Days NC #3

[HPoirot]

Hello 25. Thank you for checking back in with me.

Everything you say is true of course. I'm can see how she would see me as petulant and small as I'm not seeing her or responding to her contacts better. Although I know it is the right thing to do for my R goal... I have trouble accepting being friendly with her or in any way going out of my way for her. Sometimes I want to just leave her behind as much as possible. Right I'm not detached.

I was being friendly and firm and confident with her before in the house everyday... even after I confronted her on the PA and things got really bad. I the discipline to get my best self ready to face her and I had a constant pressure to keep me doing it everyday. Here in the condo on my own I'm not doing that.

Yes my plan here was to heal and rest and then start those interactions again. Almost 3 weeks here and I'm not feeling healed. I've been waiting and trying to heel instead of just being healed now. I've taken long enough break.

So yes... I want an R. I have to GAL, get better, and start facing her again soon. As you said... it's just a few minutes every now and then to take S11 down to her. Like before... I expect to be my best and then I am whether she's around or not.

If I'm moving on and have a life to look forward to then I'm happy, confident, emotionally mature no matter what. Again... just writing that made me feel much better. I have control of me and can feel that way anytime I really want to.

Just keep doing it.